


Realizations

by orphan_account



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s01e22 What Kind of Day Has It Been, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-19
Updated: 2000-09-19
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In the aftermath of the shooting Toby comes to a realization.





	Realizations

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Disclaimers: The West Wing and it's characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this.

Rating: PG

Summary: In the aftermath of the shooting Toby comes to a realization.

Author's Note: I wrote this story in about an hour today. Having an hour between classes is a wonderful thing. This is an idea I've had for awhile and it was rather reborn after watching the finale again last week.

 

The only sound in the room was the humming of the ventilator. It had been the only sound in the room for the last forty-eight hours.

Toby stood quietly by the door. Wondering when she would wake up, or for that matter, if she would. It was unbelievable that it had only been forty-eight hours ago that he had been worried about his brother. Now David was safely home in Houston, and Toby stood in a darkened hospital room, watching the woman he loved fight for her life.

The woman he loved...the realization had in many ways been devastating. It really should not have taken him so long to realize it. The signs had been there all along, but he had not recognized them. He enjoyed her company. She was one of the few people he was relatively nice to. He had always known he was attracted to her. But that was all he had thought it was, an attraction. It had taken seeing her laying shot and bleeding on the ground for him to realize what his true feelings were.

He knew he should have recognized these feelings months ago. He should have know when he apologized to her over the India-Pakistan situation. That should have been his first clue. He had actually wanted to apologize to her. He never apologized to anyone, in fact he found the action to be a sign of weakness. And when she wouldn't listen to him the first time, he had gone back. Yes, in the end, she had forced the apology from him, but he had wanted to make the gesture. That action should have told him how deep his feelings for her were. Perhaps it had for a moment. He had been so close to asking her out to dinner, when she had realized Josh was back from his deposition.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had acted on his feelings then? Would she have said yes, or would she have gently told him no? As he was standing in her hospital room, he felt not asking her all those months ago was one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He prayed that he would have a second chance to tell her how he felt.

She was only allowed visitors for ten minutes every hour. Toby glanced at his watch and realized the ten minutes were almost up. He walked over to the bed and held CJ's hand in his for a moment. Then he kissed her hand and left

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After leaving CJ's room, Toby sat starring at the wheel of his car. He flexed the fingers of his left hand, noticing how strange it was to not feel the ring on his finger.

***********************************

"How are you doing?" Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt asked from the door to his office the day after the shooting.

"My colleagues and friends were shot in front of me last night. How the hell do you think I am?"

"Lousy."

"You would be correct."

"I see." Andrea said sitting down in the chair in front of his desk.

"What exactly do you want?" Toby asked.

"I wanted to see for myself how you were."

"Now you have seen."

"Yes I have." Andrea said getting up to leave. She turned at the door and said. "I'm glad you are okay."

"Thank you. Wait a minute."

"What?" Andrea asked.

"I've often wondered why I still wear this." Toby said twisting the wedding ring on his finger.

"So have I."

"And I can't seem to think of a reason to hang onto it." Toby said taking the ring off and handing it to Andrea.

"I guess a near death experience makes you realize what is important to you." Andrea observed.

"Yeah it does."

"I hope it has made you realize something else."

"What?"

"That there is someone else you care about. In fact, if she is who I think she is, she is in a hospital room fighting for her life right now. You should go see her."

Toby said nothing. He just stood there staring at Andrea.

"Take the chance and be happy, Toby, that's all I have ever wanted for you." Andrea said and left.

***************************************

Toby stopped outside CJ's hospital room the next day. The doctors said that her condition was improving. But he could not see that it was. He sat down and took her hand in his. After a few minutes, he felt her squeeze his hand. He looked up and saw she had opened her eyes.

"Shh...don't try to talk. They have you on a ventilator.

CJ shook her head a little bit.

"I'm going to go tell the nurses you are awake. I'll be right back." Toby said getting up from the chair. He bent and kissed her forehead. "It's good seeing you awake."

From the door, Toby looked back, wondering if it would be wise to tell her how he felt. But CJ was awake now, and that was the most important thing. He had all the time in the world to tell her he loved her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was three days before Toby was able to go visit CJ again. He walked into the room and found her sitting in bed reading.

"Hey." She said when she realized he was in the room.

"Are you too tired for a visitor?"

"No, come in."

"Okay." He said and set down next to her. He looked at her for a moment not really knowing what to say.

"So did you have anything you wanted to talk about, or were you just planning to sit here and stare at me?" CJ asked.

"It's good to see you are feeling better." Toby laughed.

"How do you know I'm feeling better?" CJ laughed.

"You are teasing me."

"Yes I am aren't I? And yes I do feel better."

"That's good." Toby said and they slipped into silence again.

"You should just go ahead and ask what is on your mind." CJ said.

"What? I should? Yes I guess you are correct." Toby said and reached for her hand.

"Just say what is on your mind." CJ said softly.

"I've realized a lot of things in the last week."

"Yeah I've noticed that." CJ replied.

"What do you mean?"

"You've taken off your wedding band."

"Yeah. It was time. I realized the other night...when I saw you laying on the ground..."

"Toby it probably would be easier if you just said it." CJ said.

"I realized that I have feeling for you. Strong feelings for you."

"What do you want to do about those feelings?" CJ asked quietly.

"I don't know."

"Maybe we should see where these feelings would lead."

"Maybe if they are mutual feelings."

"They are." CJ said softly.

"Then we should see where these feelings will take us." Toby said.

"Yes we should."

Toby stayed with CJ until she fell asleep. After she fell asleep, he got up to leave. He bent and kissed her lightly on the lips.

The end.

 

 


End file.
